I wish I could say that I was perfect...that I was loved by many, favored to win, and that I'd never been involved in some best-described-as-regrettable life moments. No bad deed goes unpunished...but knowing my regret and the slow-in-my-sorrow to be real, it is "those" life-learning moments that I wish I could finally catch a receipt on and find a way to close that chapter of my life. 

I wish I wasn’t in ownership of a long list of regret; things which I pray to God that you, among others, will hopefully never someday find out...things which I pray could be somehow changed and in one way or another, forgiven. But just how much it is, of my personal debt, that God feels is still outstanding...seems to be ongoing and yet-to-be decided. But then again, I’ve learned that as people, we're more the same than we are different. We all have a past...but it’s equally important to always remind ourselves that we have a future, too. 

Everybody’s personal life journey is different and the same or similar experience that might affect or impact my life may have a completely different but equal impact and outcome in yours. I’ve learned that life isn't easy and most certainly isn't fair, nor is it meant to be. The only guarantee that comes by way of life is that you will learn the entire time and your limits will always be tested. As you stand on your path to greatness, remember that...and just as death and taxes are two facts of life you can assuredly count on, peoples’ comments and opinions about you, whether solicited or not and/or accurate in their description, are as much a guarantee, as well.  Although assumed greatness is a guarantee for the lives of many, the benefits of "true" greatness are only visible in the lives of those who’ve chosen the preparedness of its possible delivery someday into their lives. 

My life has taken me to places which weren’t even thought possible or in any way expected by most of those who held influence over the beginning stages of my personal journey. But the blessing of “chance” and its arrival into one's life is real...and knowing that to be true, you need to be careful what you wish for or what you say you’re willing to do because it means that one day, you just might find yourself standing in the middle of your most desired dreams. It’s in that moment, when your ultimate goal, the very thing you've dreamed might someday be possible, now has you suddenly standing face-to-face with your future. Preparation for that moment is a key element in determining if and how you will move forward. 

We all have a particular purpose in life. Oftentimes, however, if we haven’t been given adequate guidance, we find ourselves floundering in trying to understand exactly what our life’s goals and objectives are or can be. Without some semblance of direction, we can’t seem to determine our reason for living or find the necessary resources to create a life of success. In general, we most often start out with a specific plan and we might even share our dreams with others on where we’d like to see ourselves. Yet, sometimes, due to ill-planning, indecision, not knowing how, procrastination or missed opportunities, we wind up falling short of ever achieving what we aspired to do...just as those dreamers with a lack of legitimate experience, who always have that one “absolutely-guaranteed-not-to-fail” plan and oftentimes throw caution to the wind, putting everything on the line.  When the bottom eventually falls out, they slowly become consumed by failure and a lack of self-worth. This would even include the once-successful but now destitute person, who most of us have no problem walking past, as they stand on a corner asking for help. 

Subsisting without support and never given any positive reinforcement, some people often find themselves spinning out of control. Their reality quite often turns into a life of hopelessness, desperation and the feeling of inadequacy.  And how do we reward them? We turn our backs on them because so much in today’s society affirms that “everyone loves a winner and success”. Yet, if you’re on the unfortunate flip-side of that coin, then shame on you for your awful and disgraceful misfortune. Sadly, their emotions can best be understood only by someone who has experienced that same despair and the humiliation that generally accompanies it.  On the other hand, for some of those who have been born into wealth and privilege and have been provided the vast luxuries and trappings that affluence can provide, how they learn to respect their prosperity is often telling of who they will become and how they will choose to respond to others. Sadly, as we too often see today, many people of privilege and entitlement have lost sight of their ability to care about the plight of those who are less fortunate and whatever natural feeling of empathy and goodwill they might have had at one time, if ever, has since been replaced with snobbish disapproval and criticism. 

There is nothing that creates a greater frustration for me personally than when I witness what I describe as the “privileged ignorance” of others. The ignorance of those who not only think but believe that life is fair and that we all have the same opportunities as those who live next door, down the street, or in some cases, under the same roof which we call home. In most cases, without knowing the circumstances that might have led to a person’s insolvency, we tend to close our eyes to the fear and desperation someone in need feels in asking for assistance. 

We act as if the cries for help aren’t real and the problems which they face are not only deserved but solely created by their own actions and we respond in ways to ensure that they know themselves to be of lesser importance than the very people they’ve come to for help. For many of us, it’s much easier to assume that a poor soul’s misfortune was caused from a lack of effort, know-how, bad decision-making, or by choice. And, in a nutshell, as long as it’s he or she that’s crippled by tears, the one begging on the corner and not us, it becomes strictly their problem for which we don’t need to bear any sense of compassion or responsibility. 

I don’t look to lecture or be one of these people who consider themselves of greater importance than others. However, the fact is that we’ve created a new low and become at ease with what we once considered to be intolerable in the actions or behavior of others.  In doing so, we've adopted this willing ignorance to somehow accept or make excuses for these individuals...or we actually listen and give our time to the line of those waiting to defend the very things which we know to be inexcusable. Have you ever taken the time to stop and really consider how your actions or the things which you’ve said could possibly affect someone else’s life? Perhaps, you might be the kind of person who tells the world what you’re willing to do and gloatingly boasts when you say, “I always do my part".  You might even say, “Give me a call if you ever think there’s something I can do", as you emphasize with a wink-of-the-eye, to ensure that those in listening distance have been put-on-notice about your greatness. Then ultimately, when called upon and you fail to follow through, you shrug it off. Regardless of the impact your lack of participation might have had on someone else’s life, it’s not a big deal for you to know that you didn't or couldn’t deliver...and no matter what inconvenience or disappointment you may have caused someone after all your boasting and showing off, your attitude is “they’ll get over it”.  But will they? 

The one commonality that we all experience, whether we are rich, poor, or in-between, is how we handle the various pains that automatically come with being alive.  Even though status in life might determine how pain is dealt with, when it comes to the aching loss of one’s dignity and the associated short and long-term damage that tend to follow, it’s then that life statuses tend to become equalized. In those life moments, I have learned that you can’t win the argument of suffering.  During one’s pursuit up the ladder of success, forgetting those we might have intentionally and maliciously crossed along the way can be a dangerous recipe for an eventual lifetime of retaliation and long-term failure. Therefore, we should refrain from living selfishly and being driven by the “need to have" and we should adopt a lifestyle with the intention of caring and the will-to-do-good. This “will-to-do-good” allows everyone the opportunity to enjoy life’s good graces, as they go about making seamless, pleasurable and unselfish efforts in the enjoyment of achievement for themselves and others.  

I’ve always believed that personal achievement is meant for reflection and to provide direction in our next plan of action. It is also the opportunity to dream about our ultimate goals. It’s been said and I fully agree that “life is much better when shared than polished and held back for one’s personal enjoyment". At times, we become discouraged because of what we perceive to be the limited impact of our lives or in the lives of those we look to change. However, this untruth happens by reason of forgetting that we're influenced most by our own dreams and internal drive. It’s that same drive and the unrealistic expectations in the measurement of what we consider to be our success that causes us to doubt or fail to recognize those moments created by us, which have allowed forward movement and the consideration of acceptance by something we spoke. In our pursuit of acceptance, we make the most critical decisions in life alone and fearfully... in hope of how it is we assume those who matter to us will respond to our attempt to gain their approval. 

It’s the people who know and understand us that truly matter and it’s those same people who remind us of the importance we play within each other’s lives.  Knowing our imperfections to be real and the vulnerability we all have as people to make regrettable decisions...serves as a reminder that we sometimes create unnecessary sadness or suffering in the lives of the very people we claim to love. And knowing us to be more the same than different as people, the question should always be whether or not we can accept or handle what it is that others will introduce into our lives. There is no such thing as a small moment of acceptance or understanding by those you hope to influence or in some way change when your goal is to lessen the divide of misunderstanding. However, the very change itself, which we look to pursue, will only come by way of our own example and acceptance of others. 

I have often said that there is nothing wrong with not knowing. It only becomes a problem when you claim that you do. We’ve become people afraid of not knowing or simply being wrong, which makes our ignorance about having to be right so incredibly lethal in who it is we claim to be. Being right doesn’t just come with the assumed privilege of speaking. Being right comes with understanding the importance of your information and having the diplomacy of knowing the way in which your message should be shared with those in need of hearing it. It’s imperative to our individual stability, self-confidence and mental health, that we make the time to forgive and let go of the suffering and deep sadness within our hearts and that we do so honestly and with compassion for those that we believe contributed to this profound feeling. The depth of this acceptance will only find its truth while in reflection of self and in pursuit of our true purpose.   It is equally important that we make the time to identify and remind ourselves of the actual difference we’ve already created in the lives of those we’ve shared our acceptance with. 

I can say with great confidence that the change we want for the world will come slowly and will never be easy...but our measured success will be delivered in the unexpected reaction of acceptance.  This most unexpected moment of acceptance will be provided through the very hearts of those individuals who we’ve helped to shape and to influence. The consideration of acceptance, which leads to learning, will only start happening when you’ve established trust and a safe place for it to begin. Ultimately, a readiness for compromise, through our willingness to first listen, is the very beginning and will aid in the creation of our much-needed change. 

“Gratitude”...is the very essence of my soul and the foundation, freedom and inspiration of my personal thinking. Gratitude is that special type of appreciation shown by those who understand the importance of not ever forgetting the very things which changed their lives. I’m grateful to those who’ve made the decision to accept me for who I am...and in doing so, they also look to understand my true motivation and the things that matter to me in life... And for that, I'm grateful.  

- Jordan Patterson | Music, Life, Love And the Arts